Dear Parents,

As a new mom, I have become a bit obsessed with brain development in my 8-month-old. Like everyone who has children, I am amazed by the changes I see in him week to week—sometimes day to day. I feel so lucky to have access to information that helps me support his cognitive growth. It’s the first time I’ve focused in this way on a baby, but I have been thinking and studying what goes on in the teenage brain for some time. You would too if you were trying to tackle learning challenges in teenagers for your whole career!

I thought I’d share with you what I’ve learned and some helpful tips on how you can support healthy brain development in your own teenagers—just like you did when they were babies.

The Science:

During the teenage years, just like in the toddler years, the brain experiences a phase of profound synaptic pruning, a process in which unnecessary neural connections are eliminated, allowing the brain to operate more efficiently. From ages 13-18, teens’ brains are actually losing one percent of gray matter every year. This restructuring enhances cognitive functions such as memory, learning, and problem-solving, paving the way for academic success and personal growth.

That’s what’s going on on the inside. On the outside, you may see your child go through stages of anxiety and come out of it having shed some uncertainty. After this period, they may develop personal systems for organization and step into clarity and purpose. I’ve seen this pattern again again.  Dr. Seigel, whose work I whole-heartedly recommend, suggests that this is the time for “specializing”: when teens figure out what they like, what they are good at and become passionate in those areas. This behavior is all linked to pruning.

It also may be helpful of know that, according to a study by Robert McGiven, a neuroscientist, there is a decrease nerve activity at the pre-frontal cortex during teenage years, correlating with difficulty in recognizing other people’s emotions. Normal activity in this area does not return until age 18. The result is often poor reading of social situations, confusion with emotional situations, and emotional dysregulation. Why does the brain do this? It’s pretty unclear. These days, however, I am finding similarities in what happens with babies when developing at hyper speed: their brain seems to leave an area alone to focus on other before it returns. (My babbling baby got very quiet when he was learning to crawl. Now he’s back to babbling — and crawling at the same time. Communication and physical activity belong to two different parts of the brain.) Why should we care about all of this? For me, it’s been important not to expect teenagers to behave in a way they are incapable of behaving. The are not going to be masters of empathy. It’s also helpful to know they will recover their ability to read other people’s emotions with accuracy around age 18, just in time for college.

The Tips:

This is obviously a huge period of change in our teens’ brains, and parents can feel a bit powerless in the face of such shifts. But there are things you can do! Though the practices are not always instinctual or obvious, parents can actually help in very meaningful ways. Here are my best tips for encouraging healthy brain development in teens:

Encourage Active Learning: As far as human history goes, we have never been more cognitively passive. We absorb entertainment and information without having to work for it—but working for it is literally how we learn. To understand a bit of what I mean, I challenge you to turn off your GPS navigation on your next drive. Do you feel better than you normally do at the end of your trip? That’s because you’ve given your brain a little workout. This type of activity has outsized benefits on brain development. It can literally make you smarter. So, get your teenagers involved in activities that stimulate their minds, such as reading, puzzles, creative projects, CPR training, driver’s ed — anything that puts their brain in the driver’s seat. Do this early and often.

Make Room in the Schedule for Friendship: Positive social interactions play a huge role in brain development and decision-making. I find it’s often easier for teenagers to learn from other teens than from any adult, simply because it’s easier for them to pay attention. In-person time with good friends also goes an incredibly long way to relieving stress and allowing them to focus on day-to-day tasks. Remember this when your child asks for a ride to a friend’s house, team dinner, study group or concert. Those activities are not just for fun; they’re for their brains.

Prioritize Sleep and Nutrition: As most parents are well aware, adequate rest and proper nutrition are essential for healthy brain function. But some kids are more sensitive to sleep and food choices than others, even within the same families, so pay attention to stomach aches, headaches and mood. These reactions can vary widely from sibling to sibling.

Embrace Challenges: This is perhaps the biggest tip when it comes to healthy brain growth. Stepping out of your comfort zone quite literally creates new brain pathways. This works if you do it in small ways, like changing the route you take to school or the hand with which you brush your teeth, and in big ways, like speaking in front of a live audience or trying out for a new sport. The wonderful part is that you don’t have to succeed at any of these things in order to achieve the brain benefits. Do you know that Anais Nin quote, “Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage”? Perhaps this is what she is talking about. The positive benefits for the brain expand with the proportion to the fear.

Practice Mindfulness: Mindfulness is an overused but under-practiced term. Work with your teen to understand what it means to respond, not react, and that their thoughts do not have power over their actions. The teenage years is when this realization makes all the difference.

You may find that you can combine several of these actions. For instance, I know kids often shy away from in-person hang outs with friends, and things like school dances are becoming unpopular. But if your child chooses to Embrace Challenges by going to the dance, they can Make Room in the Schedule for Friendship and Practice Mindfulness while dealing with any social anxiety. Huge wins for the brain. By understanding the cognitive changes occurring in the teenage brain and implementing strategies like these to support healthy development, we can empower teenagers to thrive academically, socially and emotionally.

With optimism and dedication,

Morgan